Friday, 28 March 2008

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world...

The following were answers provided by 6th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the funniest answers are those that are misspelled...

10 .It was an age of great inventions and discoveries.Guttenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

11 .The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Julia.

12 . Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote " Donkey Hote." The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost". Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise Regained."

13 . Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared: A horse divided against itself cannot stand."Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

14 .Abraham Lincoln became Americas greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14th , 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

!5 .Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large.

16 .Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everybody was calling for him. Beethoven expired in1827 and later died for this.

17 .The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the "Organ of the Species." Madman Curie Discovered the radio. And Karl Marx became the first of the Marx Brothers


Old Lady Lincoln said...

These are all funny. Leave it to kids to come up with some good answers. LOL

Ineke said...

Haha, these are indeed funny. I just stumbled upon your blog Wil thru Abe Lincoln's. Should you be interested in seeing more of Rotterdam, please pay me a visit at rotterdam daily photo!

reader Wil said...

Thanks Patty! i agree with you that kids make life a lot more interesting!

reader Wil said...

Hi Ineke, you are practically my neighbour! Thanks for the comment. I put a slide about Rotterdam on my blogs a short time ago. Are there more Dutch people on the blog apart from you, my daughter and me?